I know, what a depressing title right!? I’m not writing this to be a total downer, I just want to share my thoughts with you. On the outside (meaning, what I put out there on social media) my life is pretty nice. I’m renting this beautiful house and I have my sweet dog, family, friends and my art. I share the very best of these things on Instagram, I censor my “real” life from people. For some reason I forget about the censoring when I look at other people on Instagram and social media. I have fallen into a horrible trap that I am just finally realizing and trying to pull myself out of. I have for some reason attached my worth to the amount of likes and followers I have on Instagram! OMG, how insane is that? I have also changed my art, abandoned ideas and compromised who I am based on these likes and follows… or should I say the lack of likes and the dreaded unfollow! Does anyone out there know what I am talking about?!!! Silly, silly, silly. I know that I am in business and need to keep tabs on what my customers want and on the marketplace but to do it to the extent that I have been is just crazy. I also find myself getting upset with my progress based on what it looks like other people are doing and the successes they are having. Believe me, I am super happy for them, truly, but it makes me have bad feelings about myself. Again! f’ing crazy and yes I know the quote about comparison. (insert eyes rolling) So, this got me thinking, do people feel that way when they look at my art or my Instagram? Because I just like to share the beautiful stuff. Do you remember the days when Instagram was just about sharing your life? It wasn’t about having followers or a beautiful gallery for people to see. Sigh, where are we headed with all of this as a society? As you know or don’t, I have been in transition for a couple of years now. I’ve taken time off, I’ve reinvented my art, I’ve done a lot of inner work and still struggle with doing right by myself where my health is concerned. For some reason, I thought that eventually life would get back to the way it used to be and I would just keep working and creating like always. Well, that doesn’t seem to be happening. Where I was once fulfilled, now I’m not. Creating products, getting licensing deals and cool dinnerware collections is all amazing but it’s missing something for me. Somewhere along the way, I lost my voice, my words. I stopped writing, I stopped connecting with people and hid behind my art and my Instagram account. I have struggles, that’s part of my life. It’s not all pretty art and images.
I’m not sure where I am going with all of this, I just know that I am making changes within me where all of this is concerned and am not going to overthink things anymore. I am not going to be obsessed with creating the perfect gallery that is “on brand”. I’m just going to share my art and heart and not censor myself because I think something that I post will lose followers. Truth is, the people that don’t stay with me aren’t meant to be a part of my circle or tribe or whatever you want to call it. And so, I begin here.
Have you been swept away by social media? Are you compromising your creativity and sharing things based on what other people are doing or because you think it will get you more likes because so and so is able to get likes that way? Well my sweet friends, take a step back with me and ask yourself am I sharing who I truly am? Is this art coming from a pure place within me? Am I attaching my self-worth as an artist and individual based on these outside influences?
Let’s start a conversation. Am I crazy? Am I the only person feeling this way, lol?
Also, I’m not sharing this for sympathy or anything like that. Honestly, I’m ok. I am just sharing my thoughts and heart with you in the hopes that a connection is made and I can help you in some way as well.